DAILY PROMPT- WOULDA,COULDA,SHOULDA!

Dollar-Sign1Tell us about somethign you should do… but dont.

I SHOULD be

  • Makin’ paper- QUIT my minimum wage job, get some sort of food/BAR-ish setting job to make some dough in. Sure, when I lived on the coast I worked @ four different restaurants- but I SUCKED. was fired from one, quit one of them because I thought the cook was harassing me (C’mon, 19 year old Nerissa- what cook isn’t a perve-), and the other 2- one closed, and who knows if they even remember me @ the other one?

I got too nervous all the time when I was a waitress that I fucked shit up like a motherfucker. It was baad. But I have-since then, have had about 5 or so jobs since then, and yesterday I was so fucking disrespected by one of my “SUPERIORS [HAHAHAHAH]” it was No fuckin’ joke, folks.

People tell me all the time I should just bartend, waitress-whatever (“you have boobs and you’re a girl, c’mon-“ is every male’s conclusion), but that aint enough haha, every job I look for you need EXPERIENCE (always written in CAPS LOCKS, too). I want to say I am experienced, but I sucked ass, so “can you guys still train me?!” hahah. WHAT TO FUCKING DO?!!!

  • HOMEWORK/STUDYING
  • WORK OUT MORE
  • HANG OUT W/ PEOPLE I LOVE MORE- one of the hesitations i have though is that they don’t call ME. it’s okay, ya know- i might not call them either. I should just fuckign do it. I shouldn’t let loneliness become a contributor to suicidal ideations.
  • WAKE UP earlier
  • READ MORE
  • COOK MORE
  • KEEP UP WITH MY GANGSTA STATUS. <————— and that’s REAL. cuz I KEEPS it real. I dont give a fuck fuck- i dont give a fuck that I’m extremely white- although, i do tan well! hahah I can here Chappelle using his “white person” voice right now

But really, I’m gonna just keep wakin’ up & shit. There’s a point to all this. I gotta tell myself this often- and it’s about time I start believin’ it

6 thoughts on “DAILY PROMPT- WOULDA,COULDA,SHOULDA!

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  5. You have officially captured me as your number one blog fan. You are a piece of work, and i mean that in a good way. You have such authenticity…you write from the hip, fuck how the words will land, and that makes you an original and the real deal. In this piece you either purposefully or inadvertently referred to thoughts, sometimes, of suicide. You wrote, “HANG OUT W/ PEOPLE I LOVE MORE- one of the hesitations i have though is that they don’t call ME. it’s okay, ya know- i might not call them either. I should just fuckign do it. I shouldn’t let loneliness become a contributor to suicidal ideations.” Well, that got my attention is a serious fucking hurry up. You should know that all “dark” writers share that same fixation, and even though I can’t be your friend, because I am just an unkown on a computer somewhere, you should know, we can talk. If you ever need to. Just soes you knows.
    I’m a big believer that suicide is a choice…Kübler-Ross, the world’s leading authority on suicide once said, “To save someone from killing themselves just to have them continue in the same miserable existence that drove them there, is not to have done them any favor at all.” What this means is that you should quit your job. You should shake up your world. If it’s broken, fix it, whatever you have to do.
    By the way, I have extensive experience writing all levels of resumes, from CEO’s to people who have no experience (which isn’t true…life experience can be translated on a resume.)
    Just soes you know.

    • I’m so really grateful that for some chance of fate you read my blog one day. I truly appreciate what you said about the suicide ideation/ actions, and that there are steps I can take to further prevent shit- i mean I’ve been through bein hospitalized etc when I was 17-18, but I was far more irrational and instable with myself than I am now. I’m definitely not perfect by any means- but I feel like I’ve lived through three lives since then.
      -and the resume thing is awesome! I have an almost odd amount of jobs for my age, but there are so many that have been closed, and one I got fired from, a few were under the table- etc. so it’s good to know you’d have knowledge of that stuff, I’d definitely appreciate your help. you’re the shit!

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