This is a day late- WHOOOOPS, sorry beeeetches!
The most surreal shit that’s happened to me: an incident that occured 2 years ago- I lived with my dad @ the time (near the ocean).
–One day- a few months after my 21st birthday, I watched him die. & it’s still a dream- I’m living in a dream world where death freezes, stares you in the face. Part of me is still trapped in time, man.
I was there alone when he fell- face first on the pavement. I failed at CPR- whoops, sorry Daddio! It didn’t occur to me, and it still doesn’t really- whatever the fuck that means, hahah- that doesn’t make any sense. Of course his death & his absence from the world occurs to me, I just can’t wrap my head around it.
He left too soon. I don’t have much to say- there are a million details I could give. But I’m not gonna- we’ve all lost someone or something, and I guess we all grieve in different ways. I don’t understand anything.
As Forrest Gump said: “And that’s all I have to say about that.”
Surreal uncategorized-miscellanies till its sorted by body and heart…. Bridge surreal…loss real… : (
I wanted to sit with my response for a day before I posted. I did not wake up this morning expecting to absorb such an incredibly courageous moment in another person’s ability to share such a vulnerable moment in their life with us. I was profoundly moved by the sheer intensity of this reflection and powerless to write or say anything of comfort. I have no fucking clue as to why the world throws us curves like this…your father passing literally in your arms; you psyche forever linked to the powerful mix of love and pain. While I already admired you as a writer, you allowed all of us to experience you as a person and that was a gift. Something about reading this caused an internal shift within me…I don’t yet know what that is…but its profound and comforting. Strangers posting replies isn’t what you were looking for, I’m sure, so thank you for tolerating our need to.
Beyond words feelings, shiftings new and old places, being sad and alive together far away and dead.
thank you so much for this heartfelt reply to my post- i appreciate it so much. life’s strange- i guess it’s all i’ve learned thus far
Thanks for your kind response :)