It’s been a long-ass time since I’ve posted. I’ve had a really hard time the past 10 days or so w/ some serious fuckin’ depression/anxiety/and of course- ANGER, which is a given for Nerissa Moonshine, but alas… I figured I’d add it in there. It looks cool in red!
I always have trouble w/ depression and anxiety to begin with, but I’ve been even more fucked up lately. As in thinking about suicide in a drastically more serious manner than normal, instead of just the occasional passing thought like “OH, I wish I could just fuckin’ die right now.” No, more like “If this didn’t ruin my loved ones because of their loss, I definitely WOULD do it.”
I did a little sleuthing the other day, though, (LIKE SHERLOCK HOLMES!) and for once actually read the little packet of input for one of my meds- you know, the one that comes in the package holding prescription drugs! (it’s sad that I have to say actually- but c’mon, who the fuck actually reads that shit. Sadly.) Turns out, one of my mood stabilizers was listed among one of the meds that this one may suppress the effectiveness of.
So I feel like I’m taking action. Got a Doctor’s apt. tomorrow- & I’m bringin’ ALL my psychopath medicine’s literature with me. WHATCHA THINK BOUT THAT?!
Been paintin’ lately!! Craaaazy shit, since usually my “hobbies” are normally outlandishly destructive and/or, or a total waste of time- but brush strokes are oddly calming! I’m not painting anything tangible- as in I’m not making any portraits or objects or any of that complex shit. Basically I’m just painting w/ the 99 cent acrylic paint you buy @ like Michaels (or whatever craft store your region of the planet has) and smearing it all over cardboard boxes or tins and mason jars and what have you. Oddly it’s relaxing as hell.
Peace Love and Harmony, byotches! I shall update soon.